Rules that Exist Because of Me

Be very, very careful when asking a person in a technical job to “spell out ALL acronyms” when writing up a company document. You’re guaranteed to get a document much larger than you wanted. How much larger depends on how much of a smartass the tech is. I am no longer allowed to tell people […]

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Tin Foil Hats and Wizard Caps

As most retailers do, Circuit City kept customer information on file.  While my former employer had some questionable practices, this honestly wasn’t one of them.  The overwhelming majority of times this information was accessed was to facilitate returns and rebates.  If the customer politely declined to give their information, we simply left it blank.  However, […]

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Mrs. Dull

When I worked at CableISP, Mrs. Dull wasn’t just a customer, or even a customer type, she was a full-fledged mania. She was one of those customers that was just so absolutely batshit crazy that nothing could explain her. Her case notes read like a Far Side Collection. A good number of agents had actually […]

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Frick and Frack, Part 2

That wasn’t the only time Frick made my life miserable. I thought he was an idiot, until I met his colleagues. Then I KNEW he was an idiot, it’s just that I then understood that was a job requirement. Anyway, so Frick comes to our store one day. See, when we first set up our […]

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Frick and Frack, Part 1

Frick is the Imperial District Supervisor Supreme. Frack is the Regional Grand Poo-Bah of Importance. Together, they are responsible for keeping our business growing. The problem is, neither one of them will agree on who should make what decision, since allowing someone else to make a decision for you is some sign of un-promotability, or […]

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Nikon Dimbulb

(NOTE: AS WITH ALL TECH TALES, THE PRICES AND TECHNOLOGY QUICKLY BECOME DATED REFERENCES.  I ASSURE YOU THE NUMBERS AND SPECS YOU SEE IN THIS STORY WERE ACCURATE AT THE TIME.) Many moons ago, when I took my first taste of tech sales, I hated the idea of restocking fees. I thought they were a […]

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Jack, Part 4

After our class had taken numerous liberties with Jack’s cell phone, we decided enough was enough. We were going to call it even and get on with things. Every joke has a life of its own, and after a week of pranks, Jack’s phone had run its course. All nine of us were ready to […]

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